


Fast Forward

by attackonsanity



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alcohol, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Drug Use, F/F, High School, M/M, Physical Abuse, Self Harm, Verbal Abuse, Wow this place has more tags than I'm used to
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-10-10
Updated: 2013-11-23
Packaged: 2017-12-29 00:14:19
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Underage
Chapters: 4
Words: 12,465
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/998574
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/attackonsanity/pseuds/attackonsanity
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Eren's life makes a quick 180 when his mother dies. Recognized an adult at the young age of sixteen due to the unwillingness of the state to look after himself and Mikasa, he's forced to grow up faster than he should, and things end up taking a wrong turn.</p>
<p>Levi is a complicated mess. And things get more complicated when Eren Jaeger steps into his life. Things don't always go according to plan.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>That lovely little E rating is there for the third and later chapters. I'm doing it now so I don't forget to change it later.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So, this is a little something I got in my head after reading some things and thinking about life.
> 
> Bands mentioned in this work are all ones I know and love. Bauhaus and Siouxsie Sioux will be pretty well mentioned throughout the entire story. If you don't know any of them, I'll be glad to introduce you.

The hollow sound of the casket being dropped six feet under made me flinch as I watched as my mother was buried. Rain drizzled from the sky, kissing my skin as if in apology for the anguish I was feeling at the moment. There was nothing that could make this better, nothing could bring her back. And that was a fact that I’d have to live with. I was only sixteen, and Mikasa, my foster sister, was a year older, but the state now recognized us as adults, given the circumstances. Dad was god knows where, and we had no other living relatives. We were going to be too old for foster care soon, so they didn't want to waste money by placing us in the system.

 “Eren.” A soft voice snapped me out of my thoughts and I turned, facing my best friend. Armin’s blue eyes were full of sympathy and worry. He had lost both his parents when he was young and currently lived with his grandfather.

“I’m okay.” It was an automatic response, something I’d been practicing and had down to a T since I found out my mother had gotten in that horrible car accident. I’d been saying it so many times that I almost believed it myself. But Armin knew better than that, and in an instant, his small arms were wrapped around me gently. 

“You’re more than welcome to stay with us Eren. We won’t mind at all.” He’d been putting that offer on the table for days now, and my answer was always the same. I always said that I’d figure something out, that I’d get a job and rent an apartment. We’d be fine on our own. 

“You already know my answer Armin. We’re gonna be okay. I’ll work something out, so don’t worry about us.” But he did worry. And I knew he always would. The three of us had known each other practically forever, and we always had each other’s backs whenever the situation called for it. But I’d stick with my lie. We’d be fine

It wasn't until after the funeral, that Mikasa spoke. Her voice, usually calm and collected, was thick with emotion. She stopped walking, and I almost didn't realize until I heard her voice tear through the awkward, thick silence. 

“Eren.” The sound of my name alone gave me pause, and I turned around to face her, noticing the look on her face for the first time since we were told mom had died. Her dark eyes were glistening, most likely with tears she hadn't shed yet, and her face was pale. Far more pale than it usually was. To be quite honest, she didn't look well. And that was saying something, because she always looked well. Better than well most days. So the sight of her like this was a little unnerving. “Where are you going to stay? I can crash at Annie’s for a while, but it’s you I’m worried about." For a foster sister, she worried a lot about my well being. People always swore we were blood related, even though we weren’t. 

“I’ll stay at Armin’s or something while I look for a place to work. I’ll lie about my age if I have to. Just until we can get on our feet, okay?” I tried to smile, to show her that everything would be okay. That I had this all under control, even when in reality, that was the furthest thing from the truth. I was just as scared as she was. Maybe even more so, but it didn't matter. I was going to make this work, even if I had to work my ass off to make it happen. “You go on ahead, find Annie. I’m going to go job hunt. And before you say anything, I’ll be back at Armin’s before midnight. Don’t worry about me.”

She nodded, staying silent for a long moment. That was the thing she did when was worried about me, and I was being my usual stubborn-as-a- mule self. She always grew silent and did this little nod to acknowledge my words. Then she’d turn away and leave me to my unruly thoughts as I headed in the opposite direction.

“I love you.” She called out to me, making me smile. Despite everything, she and I were really close. Closer than your average siblings. And it showed in our daily interactions.

“I love you too.” I made my way downtown on foot, letting Mikasa take the old car. The rain had stopped by the time I made it there, not that it was a long walk. It was only a block or two away from our old house and the cemetery. The first thing that caught my eye was a brightly colored sign that read ‘Now Hiring’ in neon green. Eager to find work, I rushed over and pushed open the door. A blast of thick cigarette smoke and loud laughter slammed into me full force the moment I was inside and I couldn't hold back a cough. Looking around, I found that I was in a dimly lit bar, filled with tables that were occupied by loud, drunken men. It hit me that it was probably a gay bar; there were quite a few in town. Not that it bothered me; I’d take work wherever I could get it. 

“You old enough to be in here kid?” A bored, masculine voice spoke from behind me, causing me to jump and whirl around to face him. 

The man behind me was short. Shorter than me and I was only sixteen. He also had close cropped, raven colored hair that was parted in the middle. His skin was pale and flawless, and his eyes a steel grey that reminded me of the clouds outside. That piercing stare was only made more obvious by the black eyeliner he wore. There was a silver bar piercing that ran through one of his eyebrows. In short, the man was beautiful. Though his outfit was rather interesting. Tight black pants wrapped around his slender legs, and his torso was covered by a black Skinny Puppy t-shirt, a band I’d never heard of before. The dark colors were quite the contrast against his pale complexion.

"Are you?" I retorted, unintentionally mocking his short stature. I almost regretted it, after the way his eye twitched and he shot me the dirtiest glare I'd ever seen in my life. The saying 'if looks could kill' ran through my head. 

"I'm twenty-four. What are you, fifteen? You look awfully young to be in a bar, kid."

"I'm twenty-one, actually. My mom's genetics." It was the smoothest lie I'd ever told. Or at least I thought it was.

"Tch. Go home before your mom worries kid. I don't wanna be involved with any cops if she gets pissed."

I hadn't realized I'd started crying until the man cursed, pushing my shoulder and leading me to a bar stool. He didn't seem to care that I was underage now.

"Hanji! Get him a shot of whatever the fuck you have back there. He looks like he could use something strong." Turning back to me, he pushed me onto the stool. "Spill."

"My mom died two days ago. Just got done with her funeral actually. The cemetery isn't too far from here."

"Here, this the best I have." The woman behind the counter spoke, eyeing me through her glasses. "And I swear to god Levi, if he's as young as he looks, you better take the blame."

"He's twenty-one. Checked his ID at the door, and it checks out. Calm your tits woman."

I was mildly surprised that this “Levi” was lying for me. He obviously could tell I wasn’t the legal drinking age, nowhere close to it. But I ignored it for now, and grabbed the glass in front of me, downing its contents in one quick gulp. The alcohol burned intensely as it went down my throat, but still, I wanted more. Pushing the glass towards the bartender, Hanji, I looked at her expectantly. And with the way they stared at me, I thought there was something on my face at first. Then I noticed that Levi’s eyes held shock, while Hanji’s held concern.

“Honey, if you really are twenty-one, you just turned twenty-one. I’d rather not get you drunk in a rundown little bar. Trust me; wait till you get home for that.” Hanji spoke, shaking her head as she took the glass from me and set it aside.

“This brings me to my unasked question. What the hell are you even doing in a bar in the first place? And a gay bar at that.” It was Levi who spoke now, and I tore my gaze from the bartender to look at the man who looked perpetually pissed off. “You don’t seem like the type.”

“I saw the sign in the window. Now hiring? I’ll take what I can get. Just to get me on my feet again.” It was the truth, and I didn't even attempt to lie about it. They’d just find me out by my face anyway.

Hanji was suddenly hovering over me like I was some abused kitten she'd found on the side of the road. It was a little disturbing, and quite awkward because her chest was all over my face.

"Oi, Hanji, quit somthering him before he dies of something other than alcoholism."

"But Levi!" She whined, in this cute yet annoying way. "The poor thing doesn't have much to live on, if I'm reading between the lines correctly. It's so sad!"

There was a scoff that left Levi's lips and his eyes rolled. The first new expression I'd seen on his face since I'd been here. "No. The answer to whatever the hell you're thinking, is no."

"Levi please? It's not like it would be too much trouble. I mean, I'd do it, but you know how Rico gets when I bring guys home with me."  

"Yeah, that's because your roommate's a whore. She'll throw herself at anything with a penis. It's a wonder she hasn't jumped all over my dick yet."  

Hanji rolled her eyes at him, grabbing a rag and washing the counter with it. "Yeah, she is. But she's a great friend. She's a bitch, true. But she has your back when it's needed. As for why she hasn't jumped you yet, it's because you give her looks that make her think she won't survive to the next day."

As amusing as their argument was, I was a little annoyed at being treated as though I weren't even there. "Um, what exactly are you bickering about?"

They both stopped, as if they were finally realizing that I was still there. It was Hanji who spoke first.

"You don't have a place to stay, right? Which is why you're staying with Levi."


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aaand this chapter took longer than I intended, and it's kinda boring? Maybe? I don't know. If it is I apologize. It's getting better in the next chapter though, because Eren's descent into troubled child-ness begins~.

I want to say that after being forced to move in with Levi, everything went smoothly. That everything was perfect, and I never had anything to worry about. But that’s not the case. It’s never the case. Because, to be honest, I was a mess before I got there. And being a teenage fuck up isn’t something that can be erased in one week, or even one year. It takes more time to get over past mistakes. If you even can get over them.

 

* * *

Being Levi’s roommate had its ups and downs. One of the downs was being kicked awake  _at six-thirty in  the goddamn morning_. And by kicked awake, I mean literally  _kicked_  out of bed. With a groan, I sat up, rubbing my forehead from where it banged against the end table and threw a harsh, half-asleep glare at the man who was responsible for my abrupt ascent into the real world.

“On what planet is that an okay way to wake someone up? I mean, seriously. What the fuck?” my voice came out like a pathetic, childish wine. And the second kick to my side only showed just how  _not amused_  Levi really was.

“My apartment, my rules. Your sister called your phone six times this morning. This, by the way, is not an acceptable way for me to wake up.”

My eyes widened and I stood up a little too quickly, swaying on my feet as vertigo hit me in an annoying wave. Another groan left my lips as I finally regained my balance and glanced at Levi. His face was the usual, stony mask of indifference.

“Mikasa called?”

“Yeah, she did, and informed me that you have school today.”

I gulped somewhat audibly at that statement. After all, Mikasa wasn’t a liar. She snitched on me for a pack of cigarettes when we were thirteen, and of course, I whined until she gave me half the pack. We smoked it all in one sitting too

“Yeah, I know your age kid. And there’s no way you’re working at a bar. I mean, Christ, you’re  _sixteen_. Did you really think you’d stand a chance at a dirty place like Maria’s?”

“Hey!” My nostrils flared; something that I normally did when I was angry or upset, “I’m tougher than I look. I can handle the goddamn job Levi.”

Those steel grey eyes practically burned a hole into my skull with the way he was staring at me. And frankly, I was little scared.

“The answer’s no. I refuse to be responsible for an underage brat getting his ass kicked because he was in the wrong place at the wrong time. I’m already on close watch by the cops and I don’t need that shit on my record.” With those words said, he pulled a pack of cigarettes from his pocket, placing one at his lips to light it.

I watched, transfixed by the way his eyes closed and his entire body seemed to loosen up at the nicotine intake. It was an interesting sight to witness, because from what I’d seen, Levi was an un-emotional dick. I hadn’t seen him let loose even once in the short time I’d known him. Not that I really knew him, he never told me a single thing about himself. So I never told him about me, other than the fact that my mother died and her funeral was two days ago. We were virtually strangers who just happened to be sharing an apartment.

"Quit staring brat. It’s rude.” Levi finally spoke, tearing me from my thoughts as I looked away with a blush. “Get your ass ready. Your annoying sister is going to be here in a half an hour.”

 

* * *

“Mikasa, calm down. Seriously, you worry about every little thing I do, and it’s way too early for this.”

“Calm down? You want me to calm down? I called you six times and he answered. When the fuck was it okay to let him answer your phone? I mean, you don’t even know the last thing about him. The only reason that I didn’t track your phone’s GPS last night was Annie telling me that you’d be okay.”

A weird sound left my lips at that. I wasn’t even sure it could be classified as human.

“Annie said that? Was she high again? I swear, she’s more drugged up than a surgery patient half the time.”

“That’s beside the point Eren. What matters, is that you’re living with a stranger. A twenty-four year old stranger. With a  _criminal record_. I mean, fuck Eren, what if you get caught up in his shit of a lifestyle? That’s not okay with me.”

“Mikasa, you’re one to talk. You spent a week in JD for sending three guys to the hospital last year. And then you spent another week there a few months ago after being suspended for selling weed on school property.”

The look she sent my way was chilling, but I was used to it by now so it didn’t bother me too much. When you lived with Mikasa, you kind of had to get used to her “I’ll kill you with my eyes” voodoo.

“Okay, so you have a point, but still. If he hurts you, I swear to god I’ll send his ass back to whatever hole it crawled out of.”

“Okay, okay. Whatever. Can you just find a parking spot? I need to find Armin before class starts to get the notes for chem. Or Smith's gonna have my ass.”

* * *

The first ten minutes of class, everyone was gawking at me like I’d just grown another head or something. Even Connie was staring at me. And he was the shy type.

“What? Is my face turning purple?”

“Maybe then you’d actually look attractive Jaeger.” It was Jean’s voice. I hated that kid more than I hated anyone. He was a complete idiot.

“Very funny horseface. You tell everyone that?” It wasn't the best comeback in the world, but it was enough to make Jean's face turn slightly red with anger.

"Shut up before you choke, cock whore." From the sound of his voice, I knew calling him horseface was pissing him off.

"Sorry Kirschtein. But I don't broadcast my sexual activities to the world unlike a certain jock I know."  
Whatever smart mouthed retort the other had died in his throat as the door was shoved open, and Mr. Smith entered the room. It became so quiet you could hear a pin drop then again, with a chemistry teacher like him, it was in your best interest to not be talking when he was in the room. He was as strict as a military commander.

"I hope you all did your notes over the weekend."

With that said, all eyes turned to me. It wasn't that I was a bad student, I was just notorious for not doing my notes. Occasionally I would, but most of the time I wouldn't bother. With a gulp, and sheepish smile, I pulled out the notes I'd copied from Armin. The almost illegible scrawl signaled that they were in fact, my notes.

"I got 'em. Don't worry." My voice was calm, because unlike some people, I handled pressure pretty well. Nothing ever fazed me when it came to being called out upon.

Mr. Smith's eyes looked to the papers in my hands, his blue eyes taking on that ever present disappointed look. He knew I'd copied them, because I always did.

"Hopefully, Mr. Jaeger here will one day learn how to do his own notes. But until then, I suppose Mr. Arlert's will have to do." Everyone snickered at those words until Smith stared them down, "The test will begin shortly. You have twenty minutes to study your notes, so get to it. I expect all of you to pass. Especially you, Jaeger."

 

* * *

 "And then he called me out like I was stupid or something! I mean, seriously. You should have seen his face Armin. It was this swirling mass of disappointment."

"Well, you do tend to not take your notes. Even when you do, you're copying mine. So in a way, I guess his disappointment is justified?"

I scowled at his words. He was right of course, he always was. But that didn't mean I wanted to hear it. I wanted someone to agree with me for a little bit.

"You aren't helping."

Armin sighed, and I knew I was probably bugging him to death. He looked up from the unidentifiable mush on his tray, and fixed me with that "I know you're an idiot, but come on" look that he always gave me when I was being stubborn. It was quite an amusing look though.

"Eren please. Can we just enjoy lunch for one day?"

"If you can even call that lunch. I mean, what is that, mashed vomit?"

"That doesn't even make sense."

"Maybe not. But that's still what it looks like."

"Shut up Eren."

 

* * *

"I'm back." My voice echoed throughout the apartment, and I looked around, briefly wondering if Levi was even home right now. I dismissed the curiosity with a shrug and headed off to the room I was given so I could at least start the massive amount of homework I had. There was a note on the door though.  
  
                                                 _'You're on your own for food. Make a mess, and I'll castrate you._  
 _Levi'_  
  
"What a charmer." I muttered, dropping my bag off on the bed before heading to the kitchen. I contemplated making some huge meal, but thought better of it when I saw the total lack of ingredients. "How does he even live?"  
Instead, I settled for homemade chicken soup with celery and carrots. It was one of the few things he actually had the items for. Humming a little tune as I washed the vegetables, I quickly lost track of time. It was around five o'clock when I heard the door open, and I turned towards the sound.

"What the hell are you making?" Yep. Definitely Levi.

"Chicken soup. If you want some, I've made enough for two. Just get a bowl and it'll be done in a few minutes." 

The look he gave me would have made me laugh, had he not seemed genuinely terrified to try my cooking.

"I'm not going to kill you. My mom taught me how to cook before she died. I inherited her talent for it." I grinned slightly, stirring the soup and waiting as Levi got two bowls. "You'll love it, trust me." I poured the soup into each bowl, and placed them on the table.

Levi looked a little skeptical, but he still took a spoonful, swishing the stuff around in his mouth to taste it before swallowing.

"Well..?"

"That was... pretty damn good. You said your mom taught you that?"

I beamed proudly; glad to have someone else to cook for besides Mikasa and Armin.

"Yeah, she did. I have a whole book of her recipes somewhere. Not that I ever used a recipe, I pretty much just wing it every time, but it's nice to have."

He didn't say anything to that, and we spent the rest of dinner in silence. It wasn't the awkward kind, the ones where no one really knows what to say. This was comfortable. And for once, I liked the silence.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Har har. "As strict as a military commander". See what I did there?


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eren break's his nose and steals a few of Levi's "pain meds".

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This took much longer than it should have, oh my fuck, I am so sorry. There was so much shit going on at home, that I didn't really have the motivation for doing anything other than sleeping.
> 
> So, to make up for that, I'm posting this on a non-update day, so you don't have to wait anymore than you already have.
> 
> Anyway, this is the start of Eren's trip to hell, complete with questionable feelings, because who doesn't love confusion?
> 
> Or is it just me that likes that? Eh, oh well.
> 
> Anyway, I hope you enjoy this.

"Dad's back."

Those two words alone had the ability to make me hyperventilate. Or at the very least, have a mini heart attack. Dad had been gone for almost four years with absolutely no contact. But apparently, the social workers finally managed to get a hold of him, and let him know that his children were in need of a guardian. That alone was a scary thought. The man didn't know the first thing about parenting. The last time I had seen him, I had been twelve years old, and he'd been a useless drunk. Mom had been gone for a week, because of grandma's funeral, and dad basically let Mikasa and I do what we wanted.

"Dad? What the hell does he want?"

Mikasa sighed softly. Her and dad had gotten along better than he and I did. Partially because he's the one who convinced mom to let her live with us after her biological parents had been killed in a plane crash. Still, she disliked the man almost as much as I did.

"Apparently he wants to try and be our father again. Though that's about as likely as finding a unicorn. He has a house, about a block away from school. He wants us to check it out."

"But?"

"But, I promised I'd stay the weekend at Annie's. She wants to have a Supernatural marathon, and she owns all the available seasons." She stared straight ahead as she drove, quiet for a moment.

Many thoughts went through my mind at once, and I had trouble figuring out what I wanted to say.

"Levi's expecting me back at the apartment any minute now. I agreed to help him clean."

"He'll understand, I'm sure. And I'll be willing to bet he'd be glad to have his apartment to himself again. From what you've told me, the man is a clean freak. You're a terrible cleaner."

"Mikasa!" I whined, childishly. "I don't want to see him. Dad hasn't bothered to even write to us since I was twelve. And even before that he wasn't much of a father. Why would I want to live through that again?"

"It doesn't matter what you want. You're underage, we both are. And because dad has stepped up and said he'd take care of us, the court has no choice but to let him. Just try and be open minded, Eren." And without another word, she turned down an unfamiliar road, pulling into an unfamiliar driveway and dropping me off. "Good luck, and I love you."

"Yeah, you too."

The house was nicer than I would have thought, two stories with an impeccable lawn, and a connected garage. Judging by the neighborhood, dad had either straightened himself up and got himself a good job, or he robbed a bank. Still, it would be nice to have a house like this again.

I hesitated a moment before knocking on the door a few times, waiting for the sound of heavy footsteps. I didn't know what I actually expected, but the sight before me when the front door opened, wasn't it. There stood dad. A good four and a half inches taller than I was, with brown hair pulled back into a ponytail. His eyes took in my appearance, and I saw that they were just a few shades darker than my own.

"Eren." The rough voice that greeted my ears sounded unimpressed, hinting at disappointed and I wandered who he had been expecting at the door. Clearly it wasn't me he had wanted to see.

"Dad." My own voice was harsh, full of buried bitterness and anger. And it made his eyes narrow as he stepped aside to let me in. If I had thought the outside was nice, the inside was nicer. Pale colored walls met with white carpeting, and the furniture was a mixture of cherry wood and beige. There was a flat screen t.v mounted on one wall, and a fireplace stood in the other. I could see a small hallway leading to a kitchen with a full bar, and another few leading to what had to be bedrooms and such.

All in all, it was much better than anyplace I'd lived before. Even Levi's pristine, two bedroom apartment seemed shabby in comparison.

"It's nice. It's really nice. Where do you work?"

"I was a traveling salesman. But I took a more local job at a business downtown so that I could be here."

"Ah.. I see." I wasn't really interested in knowing all the details, I just wanted to know enough to be sure that he hadn't used dirty money to afford this house. I still wasn't entirely convinced, but I wasn't going to say anything.

"Your room is downstairs. Basement." Dad's voice interrupted my thoughts and I turned to face him again, surprise on my face.

"You know I'm terrified of being underground. Why can't I have one of the rooms up here? Heck, even an attic room would be fine."

"You don't deserve one."

I had always suspected that he hadn't really liked me. But this was the first time I actually had confirmation from him. It shocked me.

"What? I mean, I know I'm a bit messy and all, but I'm not that bad!"

Dad sighed and looked me in the eyes, and I could see the pure hatred in them. The intensity made me take a step back.

"The only reason I'm willing to let you live here, is because Mikasa would be upset if you didn't. I honestly don't believe a piece of trash like you deserves a home as nice as this. If you even really deserve a home at all."

My hands clenched into fists at my sides, and I tried to take deep breaths to help me calm down. I'd never had good control over my anger. Not wanting to make him dislike me any more than he already did, I simply nodded, walking in the direction that I assumed the basement door would be. I just wanted to get away from him at the moment.

The sudden hand in my hair, yanking me back caused me to stumble, a hiss of both pain and surprise leaving my mouth.

"What the hell, dad?"

"I didn't say I was done talking with you."

What more did he want? I was actually trying to do him a favor by leaving, and not punching him in the face. I didn't want to start a fight, because Mikasa would find out, and she'd be pissed.

"You make me sick, Eren. I found out about your grades at school. Did you really think that skipping out on homework would be okay? You're failing half of your classes."

"I'm working on making up the shit I missed while I was mourning my mother's death. I was also preoccupied with finding away to take care of myself and Mikasa while your sorry ass was nowhere to be found. Forgive me if my grades slipped past a C-."

The words were probably the worst things I could have said to him. Especially when it was clear he wasn't completely sober, if the speed of his fist was any indication as it connected with my jaw. I should have noticed the empty Jack Daniel's bottle on the counter. But I was too busy being in awe of the fact that maybe dad had straightened up. I was too caught up in the thought that maybe, just maybe, things would work out. God was I wrong.

The blow wasn't the last. Another connected with my nose, a sickening sound echoing in the quiet of the living room. Judging from the pain, and the blood, my nose was broken. My distraction was used in his favor, and he managed to land a kick to my solar plexus, not hard enough to do any major damage, but definitely hard enough to have a cry of pain tearing its way from my throat.

He was about to kick me again, but I managed to kick my leg out in time, and trip him up enough for me to make it out the door. He didn't follow me, which was a good thing. Pulling my phone from my pocket, I contemplated calling Mikasa. But I didn't want to worry her or ruin her fun with Annie, so I settled for a taxi instead. Luckily, I had enough money to cover the cost. (Levi's apartment wasn't that far away, so it wasn't ridiculously expensive).

Levi wasn't home when I stumbled through the door and headed for the bathroom. I tried to make sure I didn't make a mess as I cleaned myself up, he'd kill me if I got blood everywhere. It wasn't until I was putting the small first aid kit away that I noticed a small bottle of pills. There was a label that stated they were pain pills, prescribed to Levi of course, and so without really thinking, I grabbed a couple and washed them down with a glass of water. They'd help make the pain go away, and I could always explain to Levi why two of his pain meds were missing later.

I hadn't realized how tired I was until I flopped onto my bed. The last thing that registered in my mind before my eyelids grew heavy, was that that was some fast acting pain medication.

My dreams were strange. Mostly flashes of memories mixed in with elements that didn't make any sense. Until it got to a part where my mom was there. But it wasn't normal, something was off. I didn't get to figure it out though, because I was suddenly woken up by the need to vomit everything in my stomach.

"Ungh.." I groaned as I finally pulled myself away from the toilet and looked in the mirror. The sight I was met with, was rather horrifying. My eyes were bloodshot and glassy, and my complexion was deathly pale, skin covered in a thin sheen of sweat. My body felt like it was on fire, and every time I tried to sit still and relax, my limbs would twitch, or spasm violently. I could swear that my heart was going to jump out of my chest with as erratically as it was beating.

I wasn't sick, because you don't just come down with a fever or some shit in a few hours, and I was fine before I went to bed. Which left only one conclusion. Those pills weren't pain medication, and I had most likely overdosed on something I couldn't even identify. That meant I was feeling the negative effects of a drug induced high gone wrong.

To be honest, it wasn't too bad. Other than the fact that I was sick to my stomach every twenty minutes. I was actually not thinking about what happened with my dad only four hours ago, which was a plus. The downside, was that Levi would be home any minute, and I was high as fuck on whatever shit that was hidden in the bathroom.

"Shit.." I muttered hoarsely as I slumped to the floor, heaving the contents of my stomach into the toilet again.

By the time Levi actually got home, which was about two hours later than usual, my eyes were relatively back to normal, and I could function somewhat decently enough to not raise too much suspicion.

"Jaeger, where the fuck were you? Mikasa called me because she couldn't reach your phone and she was worried sick about you. The fact that she has my number concerns me slightly, but whatever." His voice echoing in the kitchen had me jumping in surprise and I whirled around, spatula in hand.

"Jesus fucking Christ Levi, warn a guy before you enter a room. You about scared the piss out of me."

Levi arched a brow at me, giving me a look of amusement.

"You're jumpy. By the way, you didn't set your nose properly. It's going to look disgustingly crooked when it heals."

"How did you..?"

"I work in a bar, Eren. Brawls are common, and I've had to fix a few broken noses of my own. Give me some credit kid."

I didn't say anything more, and simply went back to the chicken I was currently pan frying on the stove. Cooking is a pain in the ass when you're stoned. It took me a good hour to be able to cook it without burning it to a crisp. And Levi must have noticed, because he sniffed the air and made a face.

"Thought you could cook, brat? Smells like you burnt a cat in here."

"You trying cooking when you're baked, and tell me how well you do."

Really, I shouldn't have said anything at all. Because if I thought I had no self restraint before, I definitely didn't have it when I was influenced by pills.

Levi's silence was practically suffocating, and I thought maybe he'd lost the ability to speak.

"You're high?"

"...Yeah. But it wasn't my fault! I got in a fight, and you had that bottle in there that said they were for pain, so I bummed a few. I didn't expect them to be something else."

"You did what? Christ kid. You don't just take someone else's pills! Regardless of what the bottle says. Do you have any idea what the hell it was that you took? Those pills are a synthetic street drug, and they're strong as fuck. Taking just one can knock you off your ass for a few hours, and you took two? You're lucky you aren't passed out right now, or worse." He ran a hand through his raven colored hair and let out a shaky breath. "You need to go lay down. Now. Because you're not fine right now. You're really lucky you can function at least slightly. Because most people that are stupid enough to overdose on that shit, end up thinking that they're cool, and they can do what they do every day, only to realize their mistake a bit too late when they end up dead."

The whole thing was too much for me to wrap my mind around, so I didn't try. Instead, I turned my back on him and went back to finishing dinner. Though, it didn't take long for me to lose focus, and end up catching a nearby towel on fire. It was easily put out, but it only furthered Levi's nagging for me to go lay down.

In the end, he threatened to tell Mikasa, and that did it.

"Fine! I'll go sleep. Just.. for fuck's sake don't tell her!" I grumbled before walking to my room and throwing myself onto the sheets. I was out before my head hit the pillow.

Sleeping was nice. I had no problems with sleeping. It was the waking up that was the issue. It was like my body didn't want to listen to the fact that I needed to wake up. I couldn't make myself move, and for a few terrifying moments, I didn't think I'd be able to wake up. Luckily for me, Levi happened to be coming to check on me, and noticed my struggle. A bucket of cold water, and slap to the face later, and I was finally conscious.

"Just so you know, I threw those pills out. And I don't have any other drugs you can get your hands on, so you're safe. Just.. try not to be stupid, Jaeger. I don't want to have to explain a dead body pumped full of illegal drugs to the satan spawn you call a sister."

I didn't reply. But it was more like I couldn't reply, because my mouth felt numb. Eyes moving up to Levi's face, I finally managed to mumble the word 'tired', and Levi nodded, turning to leave.

"One more thing kid, if you breathe a word about those pills to anyone, I will kill you."

And with that, I drifted back into a dream that was akin to an acid trip.

* * *

I don't really know what I was thinking, getting up to go visit mom when I was still feeling mostly like shit from the night before. But here I was, flowers in hand and kneeling in front of the grey marble that indicated where she was buried. The dirt was still there, because it hadn't been too long since the actual burial, so I tried to be careful.

"Hey, mom. I.. I miss you. I miss you a lot. I tried to get a job after the.. well, you know. I ended up meeting someone named Levi, and I've been staying with him for a while. Mikasa misses you too." I paused for a moment to trace my fingers over the engraved words.

'Carla Jaeger, loving mother, and even better friend.'

"Dad finally came back. He convinced the court that he'd take care of us. But well, you know dad. I checked out the house yesterday, and it's nice. But.. dad's a real piece of work mom. He broke my nose. Said some really stupid things, but they hurt. A lot." My voice began to shake, to waver as it grew choked with emotion, "I need you mom. I can't.. I can't do this without you. Why'd you have to leave? Why? We still need you, mom. Things are going to hell, and.. I just wish you could hold me, and have everything magically fall into place again."

I couldn't tell if the tears spilling down my face were a result of the sudden anger I felt, or if it was the genuine sadness at the fact that I'd never see her smile, or hear her laugh again. The emotions hit me like a ton of bricks and I found myself doubled over, shoulders shaking as I sobbed violently. There was nothing that could describe the sheer heartache that I felt in that moment.

I had no idea how long I had sat there crying, but it didn't really matter, because it was time to leave. I was getting hungry, and tired. And I couldn't bring myself to stay there any longer. I stood, with one last glance at the gravestone, before shoving my hands in my pockets and walking away.

My eyes were on as I headed towards the front gate, preparing to go anywhere but Levi's apartment, or dad's house. Unfortunately life had a way of saying "Fuck you Eren", and sending me exactly where I didn't want to go. In this case, it sent me on a collision course with the aforementioned man's body, nearly causing the both of us to fall over.

"Fuckin'.. Eren, what the hell?" Levi's voice was more than slightly agitated, and he used both hands to shove me away from him before he got a good look at my face. "You were crying."

I silently cursed myself for not controlling my face. But then again, I didn't plan on running into Levi. Literally.

I didn't say anything to him, just narrowed my tear reddened eyes at him and chewed on my bottom lip. Another habit of mine when I was upset.

With a sigh, Levi grabbed my shoulder and pushed me towards the parking area, shoving me into the passenger seat of his civic.

"Levi I--"

He cut me off with a sharp glance as he started the engine.

"Seatbelt kid."

I really had no choice but to follow the order, and quickly put it on, adjusting it to make it not dig into my skin.

The drive was silent, but it wasn't an okay silence. It was awkward, and uncomfortable. I knew that he was going to ask me questions, but I didn't want to answer them. I couldn't answer them. It wouldn't matter though, because he'd ask anyway.

As soon as the apartment door was shut and locked, Levi forced me to sit on the couch, his grey eyes staring at me with an intensity that made me shiver.

"You visited your mom, didn't you." It wasn't a question. Because it would have been a stupid one if it had been.

I was still silent, and he continued to speak.

"Kid, it's okay to cry over a lost loved one. Hell knows that I've done enough of that myself in my lifetime. You don't need to act all macho because you're a teenage boy who has a reputation to uphold. If you wanna cry, fucking cry. Cry until you can't anymore." His voice was surprisingly soft, and I hadn't expected it at all. "You wanna know something, Eren? I lost my dad when I was about ten. It was sudden, and I hadn't known what to do. I was a goddamn mess for years. My mom honestly had no idea how to handle me, so she just stopped trying. I know how it feels to lose someone. What, did you think you were the only one to lose someone close to you like that? You're on a planet full of almost seven billion fucking people. You are not alone. So quit trying to do shit alone."

He sat down beside me then, putting his arms around me in an awkward sort of side hug, and I lost it. The tears streamed down my cheeks and I clung to him for dear life. My face was buried in his neck and and my hands clutched the fabric of his t-shirt tightly. My entire body trembled with force of the sobs wracking my out of shape frame, and I had a thought in the back of my mind that I probably looked ridiculous, but I pushed it aside.

After a few long moments, Levi pulled back, lifting my chin to look me in the eyes. His own had a look I couldn't identify, a strange sort of emotion I hadn't seen on his face before, and I didn't have time to ponder it before his lips were suddenly on mine. Suddenly my nerves were on edge and everything was Levi. His tongue licked at my lip as a sort of silent plea before it plunged into my mouth, tasting and exploring every corner it could reach as he moved, shifted to pull me onto his lap.

My arms wrapped around his neck and a little embarrassing whimper left my throat only to be swallowed by the kiss. Eventually, the need to breathe became overwhelming and he pulled back, but he didn't stop. No, his lips moved to my neck, kissing and scraping my skin with his teeth in ways that had a soft, needy moan escaping my mouth. His body moved again, hips accidentally grinding against my own and I was suddenly aware of how turned on I was at this point. That little movement had me gasping, and I instinctively ground my hips into his, drawing a moan from both our lips.

"Fuck.. Eren.."

Oh god his voice. The sound alone had me releasing a low, whimpering groan. And before I knew it, I was back on the couch, Levi crouching in front of me as his fingers quickly undid the zipper of my jeans, pulling the garment down quickly.

"Shit, Levi. Levi wait.." I didn't get to finish my sentence, because all the breath was knocked out my lungs by the feeling of his hand squeezing my cock through the fabric of my boxers. My back arched sharply and a whine caught in my throat. "Oh god.. don't stop."

That was all the encouragement he needed, and suddenly I was completely exposed to his hungry eyes, my boxers pulled down to my ankles. Levi leaned forward and licked a hot line from base to tip and my toes curled.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck." My fingers found their way to his silky black hair, tugging the strands harshly as I tried to get his mouth where I wanted it, where I desperately needed it. It seemed like an eternity past before his lips were finally wrapping around the head of my cock, sinking down slowly. His mouth was hot, wet, and it felt fucking fantastic. "Oh god, Levi. Fuck that feels so good."

His mouth was practically heaven as it sunk down as far as it could go and I could feel his throat muscles contract around me. Then he began to suck, and I swear I saw stars. It had been a long time since I had done anything like this, and I hadn't realized just how good it actually felt to have someone's tongue tracing every vein, every contour it could reach. When he began to bob his head, my back shot off the couch and a loud and probably unmanly cry left my lips.

I couldn't focus on anything that wasn't the blinding ecstasy of Levi on his knees, sucking me off. Opening my eyes, I looked down at him. That was the biggest mistake ever.

His cheeks were flushed, eyes closed. His mouth made obscene slurping noises as my cock slid in and out, and I couldn't help but stare. He was beautiful. The frenzied movements of his right arm caught my attention, and I knew he had a hand wrapped around his own length, pumping quickly as he continued the movements of his mouth. My eyes were still on him when he opened his own, and that stare had me arching again with a final cry, coming undone into his mouth.

He continued sucking hard, milking me of every last drop I had to give until my body twitched and I had to push him away.

"Fuck.."


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eren deals with more shit over his Thanksgiving break, and meets someone he probably shouldn't have.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm really happy that I was able to get this written. And hey, it's an update day too no less. I'm sorry that you all have been waiting for over a month to get this update, but things were shitty at home. They still are, but you guys are important to me. You make me feel a lot better when I log on to see comments, bookmarks, kudos, etc. You make all of this worth it, so thank you very, very much for that. You deserve this chapter, and so here it is.

**_-Levi-_**  
  
I couldn't get last night out of my head. The look on Eren's face, the taste of his lips, and the fucking sounds he made. It was enough to have me tugging at my hair out of complete frustration, and knocking at the door of Hanji's apartment. She knew something was up, the moment she opened the door and looked at my face.  
  
"Come on in, sit down, and I'll grab the wine. You can explain everything then." She scurried off to her small kitchenette and grabbed a few glasses as I sat down on her couch, sighing heavily.  
  
"Here." Hanji spoke, handing me a full wine glass before perching beside me. "Tell me what happened to make you look like utter shit this morning. It might also explain why you're actually awake before six-thirty."  
  
"I fucked up and confused the hell out of myself last night."  
  
"Who did you fuck?"  
  
Her blunt words had me chuckling slightly. She had been my best friend for years, so she could read me better than almost anyone.  
  
"No one. Not quite anyway." My thoughts flashed back to Eren’s completely blissed out expression in the last moments before he ended up asleep on my couch. "And to answer your question about who, it was Eren."  
  
"And that qualifies as fucking up how? Even I would want to jump him, Levi. He's hot as hell. Even if he does look young."  
  
"He doesn't just look young, Hanji. He is young. He's sixteen." The whole situation was making my head spin, and I didn't really want to think about it. "I committed a goddamn crime."  
  
She snorted at that, and I had to refrain from chucking my empty glass at her face.   
  
"Since when were you worried about breaking the law? That didn't stop you when we were in college. I mean, what you did with Petra was--"  
  
The glare I shot her effectively shut her up. My past wasn't something I was proud of, and I really hated being reminded of what I had done.  
  
"I'd rather not wind up in prison for statutory rape. Even if it was only a blowjob."  
  
"Oh damn. He is one lucky kid, Levi. I've heard stories, and if there's any truth to them, you have one talented tongue. Makes me jealous." Her pout was only slightly joking, but even so, I had to chuckle at that. Hanji always had a flair for the dramatic. Always.  
  
"You don’t want my tongue all over you anyway, and you know it. Do you honestly think I don't see the way you look at your roommate? You've got it so bad for Rico, that it isn't even funny." Checking my phone, I cursed at the time. I had gotten up early, yes, but I had things to do before heading off to Maria's. "Thanks for talking with me Hanji. Even though it was me telling you about my problems and you not giving me any advice whatsoever."  
  
"Hey, you didn't say you wanted advice. But now that you mention it, I guess I probably should give you a few words of wisdom." Looking up at me through her glasses, she gave a small smile, "Don't think about it, and don't worry. Whatever happens, happens. Don't do what you always do and try to control something that's already out of your hands. And if you don't trust my advice, call Erwin.”

“Erwin, huh. He’ll probably yell at me for doing what I did. Though, to be quite honest, I probably deserve to be yelled at. I lost all sense of rational thought last night.” It was weird for me, to suddenly lose the ability to think clearly, when I was always in control over my reactions. I had mastered perfect control over many years of practice, and I had never slipped up. Until now. “I’ll shoot him a text here in a minute. But, I really do have to get going, because the apartment is a mess and I was supposed to clean it yesterday with Eren’s help, but, you know how well that turned out. Plus I have an earlier shift at Maria’s tonight, and if I don’t go shopping for food supplies, I may just find myself locked out of my own apartment.”

That brought a laugh from her lips as she all but shoved me off of the couch and onto the floor. I glared at her, putting as much annoyance as I could into that one simple gesture, but it didn’t faze her at all. Then again, when has it ever bothered her?

“You work tonight?” I didn’t think she was, but you never knew with her. She was one of those people that loved her job no matter how rough the place was. Don’t get me wrong, I loved Maria’s. The owner, Mike, had helped me out through so much in the past, so I tried to be there as much as possible to make his job easier. I was the best he had in the security field.

“Nope, not tonight. I work tomorrow though.”

With a nod in her direction, I gave a short wave before seeing myself out, sending Erwin a text as I did so.

 

_‘We need to talk. It’s important.'_

* * *

**_-Eren-_ **

Thanksgiving Break. A great time for a lot of students to spend time with their family. But for me? It was just another week off school. Thanksgiving had only been a good thing when mom was still alive, because every year, she’d spend hour upon hour in our kitchen, making enough food to feed a small third world country. It didn’t matter to her that it was usually just the three of us; she still cooked enough to feed our family for almost two weeks. But now all of that was gone. Mikasa was forcing me to stay with her and dad, despite my outright refusal. She was manipulative like that. So, here I was, packing what little belongings I had into my backpack, writing a note to let Levi know I wouldn’t be here.

“Well, off to hell.” I muttered, placing the note on the table and heading for the door.  Luckily I made it out without any run- ins with the man I was currently trying to avoid, and made it safely to the taxi waiting for me.  
  
The trip to the house where I’d be spending probably the worst week of my life was too quick for my taste, and I found myself standing on the sidewalk as the cab drove off. I had been tempted to just tell the driver that I’d pay him extra if he took me back to Levi’s, but the thought of Mikasa’s face upon finding out I wasn’t there, kept my feet firmly rooted to the ground. It was odd, being back here again so soon after I told myself I wouldn’t come back, ever. The very thought of facing my father again sent my stomach twisting, tightening into thick, uneasy knots as I tried to calm myself down enough to make it to the front door. I forced a smile on my face as Mikasa opened the door, pulling me inside far quicker than I would have liked. It’s not that I didn’t want to spend the week with her, so don’t get me wrong. It was just the thought of being back in this house. My nose still hadn’t healed from my last encounter with dad, and I wasn’t exactly eager to have another one. I just wish that Mikasa and I could go somewhere else, spend Thanksgiving Day with Armin and his grandfather, like we had a few years ago. But Mikasa hadn’t wanted to intrude, and she said that dad at least deserved a chance to try again with us. Honestly, I thought she was a little too forgiving, but then again, I was just stubborn. You fuck up with me once like dad did, and you can sure as hell bet that I won’t be around to give you another chance.  
  
“I’m glad you came, Eren. Dad’s in the kitchen, making something for us to eat. I told him to go ahead and include you, because I’m pretty sure you haven’t eaten breakfast yet, right?”

“Yeah, I haven’t. I’ve been figuring out what to bring all morning, and food hadn’t exactly been the first thing on my mind.” That was true enough, and hopefully she’d let it slide. I wasn’t ready to tell my sister about the sexual encounter I’d had with Levi. I mean, she didn’t even know I was interested in men, because as far as she was concerned, I still had my middle school crush on Annie.

“Okay, good. Do you know where your room is?” I could tell she was slightly concerned, which meant she probably knew about my rooming situation here.

“Yeah, basement, right? I can manage to find it on my own, okay? Don’t worry about me Mikasa; I’m not a kid anymore.”

She gave a slow nod, still biting her lip as she watched me walk down the hall, backpack over my shoulder.

 

It was going to be a long week. One I’m not sure I was actually looking forward to.

* * *

**_-Levi-_ **

The apartment was eerily silent when I got home. Too silent. I had learned over the last few weeks that Eren was not quiet. He was loud, hot headed, and beyond stubborn. The only time my apartment was ever actually silent, was when He was at school and I had a day off. It was a little disconcerting to be met with utter silence as I made my way through the living room to the kitchen so that I could drop off the bags of supplies. A piece of paper caught my eye, and I picked it up to see Eren’s messy scrawl written all over it.  
  
 _‘Levi,_  
  
 _My dad is back in town. Has been for a few days now, and Mikasa is forcing me to spend all of Thanksgiving break over there, so I won’t be back until about noon on Sunday. But if you need me back for anything, cleaning, cooking, etc., don’t hesitate to call me. I’ll call a cab and be there as soon as possible. You still have my cell number, right? Anyway, if I don’t see you before, I’ll see you on Sunday._  
  
 _Eren’_

There was a hint of desperation in that note. Especially where he said to call him if I needed anything. Was there a particular reason he didn’t want to be with his dad and his sister? From what he’d told me, he and Mikasa were really close. They spent all of their free time together when they could, so what was the problem? Unless… unless it was his dad that he didn’t want to be around. As far as I could recall, the only parent that Eren ever spoke of was his mother, so I knew nothing about his dad.  
  
“Not your problem Levi. If the kid’s dad is back, let him deal with it. He is his parent after all. You were only looking after Eren because he had nowhere to go. That and you were forced by Hanji. The kid has a place to stay now, that isn’t here, so that should be a good thing. Right?”

I tried to convince myself that it was good. Eren would be gone, and I’d have everything to myself again. But somehow, I didn’t really believe any of that. I realized pretty quickly how much I was going to miss his cooking every night. I was going to miss the way he’d sleep through his alarm in the morning, forcing me to wake his ass up. I was going to miss the…

No. Get a grip. You are not going to miss him. He’s been nothing but a pain in your ass from the moment he first came stumbling into Maria’s. He was a brat, plain and simple. There was nothing endearing about a kid that got under my skin more often than even Hanji could. I wasn’t going to miss him. Not at all.

_“Now that I'm clean_   
_You know what I mean_   
_I've broken my fall_   
_Put an end to it all_   
_I've changed my routine_   
_Now I'm clean.”_

Cursing silently at the sound of my phone, I picked it up, having no intention of answering it until I saw the name on the screen. It was Erwin. So I sighed and hit accept, putting the stupid thing to my ear.

“It’s about time you actually acknowledge the text message I sent you. When was that, two hours ago? Three?”  
  
Erwin chuckled through the speaker of my phone and I could just hear the grin as he replied to me in that smug voice of his.  
  
“I’m a busy man Levi; you should know that by now. And even though my students are on break, and I don’t have any actual classes to teach, I have lessons to plan.”  
  
“Oh shit. Yeah, I forgot you were a high school teacher. Is it fun, dealing with brats all day long, Monday through Friday?”  
  
“Oh, it’s quite entertaining at times. Though, there is a student in my first period Chemistry class who is rather troublesome. He never does his homework, and all of his test notes are copied from someone else.”

I snorted, rolling my eyes. That was me when I was in high school. And Erwin knew that very well.  
  
“Sounds a bit familiar, doesn’t it? Anyway, I did not text you so that you could tell me about your troublesome students, idiot. I texted you, because Hanji suggested it, and because I may have done something stupid. No, scratch that. I _did_ do something stupid.”

There was a pause on the other end, and the shuffling of what I assumed were the dozens of papers he had to grade before his break was over.  
  
“Falling back into old habits, Levi?”

I hated how his voice sounded so patronizing. As if he had never done anything stupid before in life. I mean, not stupid like all the shit I had done, but he has done stupid shit. I mean, he hung out with me when we were teenagers, and that alone was dangerous.

“Not what you’re thinking, no. And it’s not an old habit, so don’t even go there. You know I stopped all that right before I started at Maria’s.”

“Of course, I was just clarifying. What exactly did you do?” His voice was concerned, with just enough boredom coloring the words in order to throw off anyone that may be nearby. That’s how Erwin was, caring, but only in hiding. Any other time, he was a cold bastard.

“I gave a sixteen year old kid a blowjob on my couch last night. And before you say anything, it wasn’t entirely my fault. He was sobbing in my arms for a good twenty-five minutes, and then I looked at his face. There was just so much pain in his eyes that I couldn’t help but kiss him. One thing led to another and the next thing I knew, he was shooting down my throat and falling asleep. I think part of the reason I kissed him, is because he’s usually so fiery and hot-headed, glaring at me defiantly with those freaky turquoise eyes of his, and the sight of him being completely vulnerable caught me off guard. I felt this intense need to make him feel better, and so I did. In the only way I know how to.”

I had no idea that Eren was Erwin’s student, and that I’d just given the man on the phone to make the boy’s school life a living hell for the rest of the year. I could get that Erwin was jealous; I’d known he would be regardless. After all, Erwin was the one constantly trying to get me to feel more than friendship with him for years until I told him straight up that I wasn’t interested. That I’d never be interested. That didn’t mean he had ever stopped being in love with me. I usually tried to avoid the subject of guys that I was interested in when I was talking to Erwin. Especially if there was a chance that he knew them, because he was a very jealous man. He’d once beat the living hell out of an old friend of mine, Gunther, because he seriously thought I was into him. The guy never spoke to me again after that.

“I see. What has he said about all of this?”

“I haven’t spoken to him since before it happened. I left while he was still sleeping, so that I could speak with Hanji about it, and when I got home, he was gone. Apparently his dad has finally back in the picture and he’s spending his Thanksgiving break with him and his older sister. Which is good, because now he can get the fuck out of my apartment. Teenagers are messy little shits.”

“Wait, he’s staying with you?”  There was obvious surprise in his voice, but it was overpowered by extreme jealousy. Typical.

“Yeah, and before you get all pissy about it, it was Hanji’s doing. Kid showed up at Maria’s when we were both working, started crying because I made a shitty joke about mother’s, and he had just come from the funeral of his own mother’s. I sat him at the bar, got him a small drink to calm him down, and he told us that he’d come there to look for a job. Nothing too major, just to get him on his feet again. And Hanji, being Hanji, and started going on and on about how he could stay with me until he found a permanent place to stay. I didn’t have much of a choice, because she wouldn’t let up until I agreed.”

“That sounds a lot like her. Tell her I said hello, will you? I missed her movie night last week because of a faculty meeting.”

“Yeah, I’ll tell her. But to be honest, I stopped going to her movie nights a while ago. Her roommate always jumps all over any guy that shows up, and I’d rather not be next. I don’t mind Rico, but I’m not into women, as you know.’

“Yes, I’ve been aware of that for years.” He paused for a long moment, probably thinking about what he needed to say next, “Back to the situation at hand, here’s my advice. Forget about him. It was heat of the moment, correct? He’s a teenager, and his hormones are probably always extreme. Talk to him when he comes back, and explain what you expect from now on. Anyway, I have to go. Papers to grade and lessons to plan.”

 

“Alright, see you around old man.” And without another word, I hung up. I felt even more confused than I did before the phone call. This wasn’t good.

* * *

**_-Eren-_ **

To say that so far the week had been hell for me would be a great understatement. Mikasa had been gone, out doing who knows what with Annie, leaving me to stay with dad. It was uncomfortable enough already, so I just stayed in my room the whole time. It was terrifying at first, being underground with little to no heat, but eventually my overwhelming need to avoid my dad made the room tolerable. Until the sound of my door flying open startled me.

“So this is where your lazy ass has been all day.” Dad’s eyes glared at me from the doorway, that all too familiar hatred making me flinch involuntarily.

I didn’t say anything, too focused on the fact that my somewhat safe haven had now been breached. He’d left me alone for the most part, but that was probably because Mikasa was here. Now that she was gone, he had no reason to not say anything to me.

“Don’t ignore me, you piece of shit. Look at me.” He’d gotten closer now, one or two steps away from my bed. Out of complete instinct, I swung my leg out, hoping to knock him down, or at least slow him enough to be able to get out of there. But it didn’t work, and suddenly his fingers were pulling the collar of my shirt, forcing my face to become level with his. The alcohol on his breath was suffocating, and I couldn’t breathe for a few minutes.

“That was such a dick move, Eren. Did you honestly think that you could get away with that? That’s pretty stupid, even for you.” 

He dropped me for a moment, giving me only a minute to try and back away before his fist connected with my jaw, a cry of pain leaving my lips. It stung like a bitch, but I could handle it for a bit longer, try and find a way to escape.

His fist hit my nose this time, effectively breaking the bone once again. But he didn’t stop there. He continued hitting me. Until finally, my fingers curled around something heavy, a book of Armin’s that I had yet to read. Lifting it, I swung, managing to knock the man off of me. It gave me enough time to run, to get out of that house. I didn’t really know where I was going, but at the time I didn’t care. I didn’t stop until I was enough distance away that I knew dad wouldn’t be following me. It was cold, I hadn’t been wearing anything other than a pair of jeans and a thin t-shirt, and the wall of the alley I was leaning against didn’t make me feel any warmer.

“Hey kid, you doing alright over there?”

I whirled, startled at the sound of another voice. Who would even be in an alley at this time of night?

“Did you hear me? I asked if you were okay. You look like shit right now.” The guy walked towards me, cigarette between his fingers, and bag over his shoulder.

“I-I’m fine. Fight with my dad is all.”

When he stepped into the light, I could see he was only a few years older than me. Maybe a senior in high school or a freshman in college. Either way, he was young. His blonde hair was short, cut close to his skull; and he was bigger than me, by quite a lot.

“Ah. Parental issues. Yeah, I know the feeling. My parents kicked me out when I was fifteen. Didn’t bother me really, I hated it there. House hopped for a while until I got an apartment of my own last year.”

I was rather confused. I was a stranger, and here he was, telling me half of his life story. It took me forever to even tell Mikasa how I’m _feeling_ and yet, this guy just sits here and practically spills his entire past to me. It must have showed on my face, because I kept talking.

“You remind me of myself, that’s why I’m talking to you. It’s also why I’ll let you in on a bit of a secret. I learned it myself shortly after I hit the streets when I was fifteen.” He grinned a bit, reaching into his bag to pull out a syringe, some sort of liquid in it, “This my friend, is an escape. One shot of this into your bloodstream, and it’s all uphill from there. This little thing has gotten me through hell. It’s helped quite a lot.”

I was skeptic, I mean, why wouldn’t I be? I didn’t know who the hell this guy even was. And my experience with drugs had been nonexistent until my accidental overdose on the pills in Levi’s cabinet. To be quite honest, I wasn’t exactly ready to go down that road again, and for many reasons. One, it was completely terrifying. Two, I could have died because of the strength of the drug, and the amount I took. Three, Levi would kick my ass if he found out. Though, if the guy was right, this drug could very well get me through what was going on. And maybe, just maybe, I could find a way to escape the world for a while. My mouth worked faster than my brain, and suddenly I was reaching my hand out for the syringe without a second thought.

“I’ll take it. But if it doesn’t do shit, you’re a dead man, got it?”

“I got it. But it’ll work, trust me on that one.” With another grin, he grabbed my arm and pressed the needle against it, “This might sting a little, but it’s no worse than getting a shot at a doctor’s office. Just relax, and don’t tense up. It’s hurts like a bitch when you do that.”

Closing my eyes to avoid looking at him, I took a few deep breaths before I felt the sting of the needle as it pierced through my skin, going deeper until it hit the vein. It stung, a bit more than he said it would, but I was hoping this would be worth it so I didn’t move. The feeling of the drug entering my body was strange, awkward. But it passed quickly and the needle was pulled away.

“How do you feel?”

“Dizzy, but not horrible. How long does it take to kick in?”

“Since I shot it directly into your vein, it shouldn’t take more than a few minutes. And trust me; you’ll know when it hits you. Anyway, I have to get back home, Bertl is probably worried sick about me like the emotional child he tends to be. I’ll see you around.” Before he left though, he scribbled something down on the back of a receipt and handed it to me, “I’m Reiner Braun. Call me if you need more, and don’t worry about costs. Consider a friend deal.”

With those words spoken, he walked off, leaving me alone in the alley to handle whatever shit he’d pumped into my system. Not that I was complaining, because a few minutes later, I was on cloud nine, sitting in the back of a cab heading to Levi’s apartment. Everything that had happened only twenty minutes before was pushed to a back burner in my mind. Looking down at the paper in my hand, I found myself grinning.

_‘I expect a call tomorrow to know how it all went down. And don’t be afraid to ask for more, because there’s plenty of it where that came from. On another note, there’s a party happening tomorrow night at around eleven, and I plan on seeing you there. Don’t be late.’_

The words were followed by a cell phone number, and an address. I knew where I was going to be tomorrow night, and it wasn’t going to be at home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope this wasn't rushed, because I really wanted it to end well so that we can all have a smooth transition into chapter five. I'll start working on that ASAP, because I have a few ideas in my head for how I want all of it to go down. I hope it won't be too long of a wait, but I honestly don't what's going to be happening at home with certain things during this next week. I have a meeting with my counselor on Monday, and my older brother is going to be there because he's trying to get me help through all this. I'll let you know on tumblr what's happening once I know. Again, my tumblr is shut-up-jaeger.tumblr.com
> 
>  
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> Also, for those of you wondering, Levi's ringtone is Clean by Depeche Mode.


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